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Our character development is something that we should discover patiently for It all starts with the willpower to change. If you find something within yourself that you'd like to eliminate, or to nurture into something better, that's where it all begins. It's hard to become a better person if you don't find anything wrong with yourself or refuse to acknowledge your own toxic traits. We have to admit to our own wrongdoings sometimes, even though it might hurt our own ego. Humility is the key to becoming a much better person, and acceptance is the stepping stone. By acknowledging our own shortcomings, we identify with what we lack as a person and how we can compensate for that.

Character development can also require help from your immediate peers such as friends, family, or a loved one. It's much better to receive negative feedback from a close companion because we perceive their opinions as valid. If you are a kind-hearted person, it is much easier to accept those hurtful words and lower our pride because their perception of us is important to our own being as well. Because of our distinct relationships, we develop a mutual bond that has an unspoken rule to never hurt the other person. You're friends! You're blood-related! You're in a committed relationship together! So, both of you make ends meet and come halfway to resolve your issues. You both develop traits that benefit the both of you as well as eliminate ones that seem to bother the other person.

When dealing with family, their opinions about us are important because they are the people who are with you from night till day, from childhood to adulthood, your constant companions. We can never choose where we come from, and if you are blessed with a good family, that's all the better reason to be thankful. They have helped us grow and been with us since we were kids. We owe it to our families to help us live and survive until the ages we are at now, that is why we develop a sense of humility for our family, and have a soft spot exclusively and lovingly for them.

When dealing with friends, their opinions about us are important because among all your social interactions, with a low probability of meeting all 7 billion people around the world, you met them and you became accustomed to each other. You spend time, having fun, making memories together, and pique interest in the same things. They are important people because you chose to be with them. We develop senses of change towards one another because we'd like for them to stick around our boring lives and make life much better with each other’s presence. Their opinions are important because if there is one thing heartbreaking in this world, it is losing a friend because of a big ego. Regret only settles in the end, so we tend to fix our fights as soon as possible, and change for the better.

The highest tier in this social bonanza is the romantic relationship. When dealing with a lover, we tend to give them the highest priority. Most commonly, our mindsets entail the mentality "I would die for this person." It is a hyperbole that is condensed into: I would do anything to flirt this person. So, as much as an idiotic emotion love is, we tend to do everything, I mean, EVERYTHING, for the person we love. Change is just a miniscule thing. Sometimes, when relationships get rocky, pride gets in the way, and everything you both developed and fought for crumbles into nothing. But to avoid that, we change for the better. We consider what is good and bad for our significant other and try to give them the best version of us. If we don't want to lose our friends, how much more if we're talking about our loved one?

I would like to tell a little story. Juan was a student I met in my class before. He experienced a lot in life at a young age. His story shows us that it is okay for men to be vulnerable and fragile. I wanted to share how Juan manage stay strong and firm after all the sadness, disappointments and heartbreaks in life. I hope this could serve as an inspiration to the audience of the platform. I hope you will appreciate the things you have now, and never lose sight of what is important. Always remember that we all deserve to be happy, and we are all beautiful people.

Back when Juan was in high school, he was full of energy, good vibes, and a happy-go-lucky person. All he could think about is how to have fun together with my friends and my other schoolmates. Juan don’t pressure myself much about assignments, exams, quizzes, He was contented of what he can do and the limit of my capabilities. That was the only time that he felt so happy and carefree. He has no worries and no regrets. After that, everything’s changed when Juan met this girl, he was so in love with her back then because of her smile. He want to protect that smile. He want to be the main reason of her having that smile. He want to have the power to make her smile everyday because with that smile, he could face the impossible. Juan was deeply in love with the girl. He can never ask for more. Every time he is with her. Juan is happier and more motivated because for the first time in his life, someone is happy to have him, and someone is happy that he exist.

When they graduated, their relationship shifted apart. They became strangers. There is now a huge gap between them. They felt that they are not enough to each other. They broke up, and Juan's life stops. His vision becomes blurry. His mind went blank. He is feeling a deep emptiness in his heart. He feel like he was falling endlessly in an abyss. Juan questioned his existence. He is becoming paranoid. He don’t know what to do. He ran, He isolate himself from the world. The feeling were new, and it is his first heartbreak. Life is cruel. Life is so unfair. Juan rants. He would question about what was wrong with him? A question that even he cannot answer. Then, Juan stop caring. He is so mad, and He don’t want to talk to anyone because he believed no one cares. Juan blame himself that his existence is unacceptable. He began to believe that no one can love him except himself.

Years have passed, Juan continue to pursue his studies, he become a student in the university that I worked in. He wanted to become a seafarer. Juan choose this course to prove that he is strong and a dependable person. He has accepted the past, and moved on. He learned many things from his first heartbreak. The past is not something we should turn our back into. It is something that we should be proud. It is an assets that we can use in facing future challenges. Juan renewed his old self. He is now energetic and happy-go-lucky, but with a purpose and goals. He is trying his best to be a competent person. He take tasks seriously, and he values responsibility.

Juan realized that he have that someone that he want to protect. He realize that they are the ones that accept him when he had nothing and the world is against him. They are his family. Juan was so arrogant and immature back then. He completely forgot the people that was there through his ups and down. They are the ones who loves him wholeheartedly. They never judge despite his character and behavior. He was the fool. But now, Juan had a chance to take it all back, and make it up to them. He became consistent with his actions, and hard to achieve his goals. With Juan's story, I realize life is not so bad after all. It gives us a chance to redeem what we have lost that we should be thankful.

Life is really playful. Juan's cousin, which he consider as his brother and best friend. His cousin is in the same age as him, but he describe him as more talented. He taught Juan that life is full or trials and challenges. The only thing we could do is prepare and face it bravely with our heads high. He made Juan realize that he was right. We should not fret over to some challenges neither panic whenever we're struggling.

He is the one who helped Juan stand up when Juan failed in life. He is the only person whom Juan can talk to about everything, and he is the only one who truly listens. Juan promised to himself that no matter what happens. He will always be by his side. Juan want to protect him. But life can be cruel sometimes, and the timing is not cooperative. One day, his cousin grew weaker. Juan shared that his pale skin and white lips makes him shiver. He was afraid and nervous to what would happen. Juan and his family were worried. They went to the hospital to confirm his condition.

Juan shared that when he hears the doctors findings, his mind goes blank in disbelief. His cousin has a cancer. He has a cyst growing in his chest. Juan recalls the feelings when the doctor states it. It was like every word the doctor says is like a nail that is constantly nailed into his heart. It hurt to know that his brother is getting weaker, and the saddest part is that it could not be cured easily. His cousin's condition got worse every day. The chemo-therapy have no effect on the cancer, and his cousin became weaker and weaker each day. Juan shared that they looked for another way. They tried out every medicine and method. They never back down in finding a cure for his cousin, but they failed.

His cousin died because of kidney failure, which caused by the medicines his cousin intake every day. Juan blamed himself that he failed to fulfill his promise. I told him that he did not fail because he stayed besides his cousin when he needed him. Juan shared that he was again heart broken because his cousin. He was in sorrow, and he could not forgive myself. Juan was too naïve. He followed him until the cemetery. He expressed that when they bring his cousin to his resting place. The clouds get dimmer as if the whole world is going darker and darker in a minute. The environment is so quiet as if the nature also mourns for the death of his cousin. He was buried beside with our grandfather, so that he can rest peacefully knowing that he has someone on the other side. Juan feel sad, but he was happy that his cousin can now rest from the suffering he went for these past months. He was happy because he know his cousin will smile again. Nothing will bother him again. His cousin will live peacefully and be remembered in their heart. Juan has no regrets meeting him because his cousin is the best thing that happen in his life, aside from his family.

Now, life goes on. All those fun times, heart breaks, and precious memories are part of our lives. For Juan, he will carry it forever in his mind and heart. He will make it a lesson or a guide for him to react positively when facing challenges. We can learn a lot from the story of Juan. We need to accept the there are things that we can't control. If we suffer from heartbreak, we should take the positive things it brings to us. The lessons are valuable, but we should not invalidate the feelings. Juan vows to influence others to do same. He will encourage them to be bold and brave. He won't let his past hold him to pursue a life. The story reminds us to learn from it, and move on with no regrets left behind.

To the audience of this blog, I would like to use this opportunity to spread some encouragement, and advice that could help in pursuing our passion and purpose in life. With this, I hope I can reach to those people who are lonely and isolated because they thought no on will save them. We should be more open. We should get out in our comfort zone, and do the things that is worth risking for. We are all worthy of love. We are nothing without love. But that doesn’t mean that all things will become perfect. There will always a time that we will struggle. We will fail. We will make endless mistake, but remember that whenever there are hardships in life, there will always a corresponding beauty and rewards afterwards. Also, I would like to say something some of my favorite and iconic lines coming from one of my favorite books which is entitled “Tuesday’s with Moore” by Mitch Albom that says “the most important in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Let it come in. We thought that we are not worthy of being loved, we think that if we do so, we’ll become too vulnerable. But a wise man name Levine said it right, he said “Love is the only rational act.”

Inspired from the book entitled “Tuesdays with Moorie” by Mitch Albom
Albom, M. (1997). Tuesdays with Moorie. In M. Albom, Tuesdays with Moorie (p. 192)